Funny Jokes

Joke: A man walks into the bar and says, "Pour me a stiff one! Just got into another fight with the old lady."

The bartender asks him, "How'd it end this time?"

The man replies, "She came crawling back to me on her hands and knees."

The bartender is surprised, "Wow, that's a change. What'd she say?"

The man says, "She said, 'Come out from under there, you little bitch.'"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
George Zimmerman.
George Zimmerman who?
Alright good. You're on the jury.

Joke: Pavlov is sitting in a bar when another patron rings the bell to get in. He gets up and says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Riverboat!
Riverboat who?
Riverboat young when I first saw you!
(Line from 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift)

Joke: A chemist and a physicist walk into a bar. The chemist asks for some H₂O. The physicist asks for some H₂O too. The physicist later dies.