Funny Jokes

Joke: What's the best part of two antennas getting married?

Joke: What does a vampire that drinks his own blood say?

Joke: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?

Joke: A man with no arms went to a guitar shop. He grabs a guitar and asks the owner of the establishment, "How much for this one?"

The owner replies, "$300. If you don't mind me asking, how are you going to use it?"

The man replies, "I'll just play it by ear..."

Joke: A blonde woman wanted to make her mother proud by naming her first child after her favorite brother. When she introduced her mom to the baby she said "Mom, say hi to 'Uncle John'!"