Funny Jokes

Joke: At first God created Adam but Adam was lonely. He asked God, "Can you give me somebody that will care for me, listen to me, love me, make me happy, and help me through tough situations?"

God replied, "Yeah, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Joke: How do you get four old ladies to yell 'Damn'?

Joke: A maid knocks on her employers door. He is busy on the phone but she asks him, "Would you like some lemonade?"

The employer replies, "Give me a Minute Maid."

Joke: A prisoner promises a female guard he will marry her if she helps him get out. It is an example of somebody using a proposition to end a sentence with.

Joke: Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?" So they created the Quality Control Department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created a time keeper and a payroll officer position. Then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people: An Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.