Funny Jokes

Joke: A three-legged dog with a cowboy hat on walks into a old western saloon and says, "I'm lookin' for the fella that shot my paw."

Joke: A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in."

The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your ass!'"

The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?"

The guy replies, "About five minutes ago."

Joke: What do you call dogs that are born outside during winter?

Joke: What do you call a pile of kittens?

Joke: Thomas has tried out for every school play since 2nd grade and he finally gets a part. He rushes home and yells to his father, "I got a part! I got a part!"

His dad asks him, "Oh yeah? Who do you play?"

His son replies, "I play a man who's been married for 30 years with 4 children."

The father says, "Oh, I'm sorry son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."