Funny Jokes

Joke: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.

Joke: Why are people always mad when you hand them their 80th birthday card?

Joke: There were three boys sitting on a curb. One was an orphan, what gave him away?

Joke: A man gave his wife super glue instead of chap stick.

She still isn't talking to him.

Joke: The FBI, the CIA and the LAPD all think they are the most efficient law enforcers, so they decide to have a contest. They release a squirrel into a forest and they all get a chance to catch it.

The CIA bugs the entire forest and gets animal informants. They then question all of the plants and mineral witnesses. But after four months, they conclude that the rabbit never existed.

Next the FBI comes in. After a couple of weeks they still have no leads so they burn the entire forest down killing everything, supposedly including the rabbit.

Finally, the LAPD comes in and comes out a week later with a bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"