Funny Jokes

Joke: Three priests are talking. The first one says, "I've tried everything, but I still can't get rid of our rats!"

The second one says, "I know! We've tried poison, traps, noise. Nothing works."

The third one says, "We baptized and confirmed all of our rats. Now they only show up at Easter and Christmas."

Joke: Why did the blind man stab himself?

Joke: A man walks into a bar with his dog but the bartender says "You can't bring your dog into here!"

The man replies "but this is no ordinary dog. You see, this dog can talk. I'll prove it to you. What covers trees?"

The dog replies "Bark!"

He asks "What's on top of a house?"

The dog answers "Roof!"

Finally the man asks "Who's your favorite baseball player?"

The dog says "Ruth!" The bartender immediately throws them both out.

The man says "What was that guy's problem?"

The dog answers "Maybe he's not a fan of the Yankees."

Joke: What kind of car did Jesus drive?

Joke: Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"

Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."