Funny Jokes

Joke: A man and his wife are driving down the road as the wife says, "I want a divorce."

The man says nothing, just speeds up slightly.

The woman continues, "That's not all. I'm taking the house, the car, the kids, and the bank account."

The man remains a statue, only speeding up a little.

The woman, getting angry, yells at him, "Don't you have anything to say?"

The man replies, "Nope. I have everything I need."

The woman asks him, "What do you have?"

Just as they are about to slam into a tree going 100 MPH the man yells, "The airbag bitch!"

Joke: A man is sitting in his living room when his so opens the front door of their house and yells, "Dad!"

The father quickly yells to the son, "If you want to talk to me get in here!"

The son runs in with his shoes on, "Sorry, where's the hose? I stepped in some dog poo."

Joke: Why did Alabama raise the drinking age to 30?

Joke: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

Joke: How is going to Harvard like being a sex offender?