Funny Jokes

Joke: A very religious woman has a parrot that prays. He sits at the bottom of his cage whispering prayers all day. She brags about her bird to everyone she meets.

One day she is bragging and a man says that he has a female parrot who is always swearing. They decide that it would be a good idea to put them together so the female parrot can learn from the praying male parrot.

So the man brings his female parrot over and they put her in the cage. The male parrot looks up at her from his prayer and says "Thank Jesus! My prayers have been answered!"

Joke: A preacher is coming to the end of his sermon and he tells the congregation, "In preparation for next week's sermon, everybody read Leviticus chapter 28."

Next week when everybody comes in the preacher follows up, "Now who read Leviticus chapter 28?" Almost everybody raises their hands. The preacher says, "Okay, good. There is no Leviticus chapter 28. I'd like to begin my sermon on lying."

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Cows go!
Cows go who?
No, silly, cows go moo!

Joke: A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent comes up to him and says, "We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?"

The old rancher replies, "That's fine, you shouldn't go over there though." As he points at one of his fields.

The FBI agent snaps at him, "I'm am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!" With this he pulls out his badge and shoves it into the ranchers face.

The rancher shrugs this off and continues with his daily chores. About 15 minutes later he hears a loud scream from the field he pointed out earlier. Suddenly he sees the FBI agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels. The rancher rushes to the fence and yells "Your badge! Show him your badge!"