Funny Jokes

Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."

Joke: Two men were walking through a forest and spotted an aggressive looking bear. The first man took his running shoes out of his backpack and started to put them on. The second man said "You really think you can outrun that bear?"

The first man replied "Don't have to... I just have to outrun you."

Joke: A man goes to a coffee shop and asks the blonde waitress, "Can I have a coffee with sugar, no cream?"

The waitress replies, "Oh, I'm so sorry sir. We don't have cream. Could I get it to you with no milk instead?"

Joke: A cheap man goes to a restaurant with his wife and son. When he gets in he asks the host "How are your prices?"

The host replies "Well kids eat free."

The man replies "My son is really hungry, he's going to have three plates."

Joke: What is the difference between Will Smith and Scotland?