Funny Jokes

Joke: A grandmother gives her grandson directions, "Once you get to the building open the door with your elbows. Once you get to the elevator his the up button with your elbow. I'm on the third floor so you're going to have to his the number 3 on the elevator with your elbow. Then once you get off I'm the first to the left, just hit the doorbell with your elbow."

The grandson replies, "That sounds easy enough, but why with my elbows?"

The grandmother says, "Oh... So you're going to be open handed?"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Joke: What do you do if you are getting chased by a tiger, lion, and elephant chasing you on horseback?

Joke: Why has nobody heard of the new band 1023 megabits?

Joke: The king of France is going to have a visit with Brock Obama. The king of France doesn't speak or understand English. He gets someone to help him practice his greeting. The translator says you will ask the president how are you? He will say fine, and you? Than you say me too. He practices until he think he has it memorized. When he see Brock Obama he ask: who are you? The president thinks and than says I'm president Brock Obama, and you? Than the king of France says me too.