Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor after hurting herself. The doctor tells her, "You're going to have to take it easy at work for a couple of weeks." He then gives her a note for her employer.

When the blonde brings the note to her employer he tells her, "Okay, I guess you're going to have to have light duty for the next few weeks."

The blonde replies, "Oh no! I don't know how to change lights."

Joke: What do dwarfs and midgets have in common?

Joke: Newton's law - "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."

Cole's law: "Shredded cabbage and carrots makes for a great salad."

Joke: A man joins a golfing tournament, but he is a terrible golfer. Lucky for him an evil leprechaun lives on the course and offers him a deal, "I will make you win this tournament, if you promise to never marry!"

The man agrees and indeed wins the tournament. Afterwards the leprechaun approaches the man, "Remember, you can't marry anybody now!"

Adjusting his collar the priest replies, "Yeah, whatever."

Joke: What two words can open doors for you for the rest of your life?