Funny Jokes

Joke: A first grade teacher tells her class that she is American and asks them to raise their hands if they are American.

All of their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks, except one girl named Kristen. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American," the girl responds.

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little annoyed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason. What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Well," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

Joke: A foreign woman walked into a hairdresser shop while she was on holiday. "Can you cut my hair into-" she pointed at a lady posing for the style in a picture. "-that style?" "We only do it with bangs," the hairdresser replied irritably. "Boss said so. Don't know why. People these days." "Ok." So the foreign customer went to the shop and bought some gunpowder. An hour later, in the storeroom, the boss heard a bang. "People these days," said she.

Joke: Why can't pirates say their ABC's?

Joke: Where does a fish go when it gets hurt?

Joke: How do you make tissues dance?