Funny Jokes

Joke: "Hey Mom?" asked Little Johnny, "Can you give me $20?"

"Certainly not," She replied.

"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what Dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."

His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"

"He said, 'Hey Maria, could you make sure I've got clean socks tomorrow.'"

Joke: Where does a fish go when it gets hurt?

Joke: The apostle Paul went to great lengths to spread the Gospel -- he even went so far as to open a sandwich shop in Greece to help get the message out. Can you guess what he named the shop?

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."

Joke: How do we know policemen are super strong?