Joke: A husband comes home from work one night and his wife tells him that the kitchen sink is leaking and asks if he can fix it. The husband asks her, "Do I look like Mr. fucking Plumber?" She says, "No". So he tells her to call a fucking plumber and have him fix it. The next day he comes home she tells him that the washing machine is broken and asks if he can fix it. He asks her if he looks like the fucking Maytag man and she says no so he tells her to call the fucking Maytag man and have him fix it. The next day when he gets home she tells him that the car is broken and asks if he can fix it. He asks her if he looks like fucking Mr. Goodwrench and she says no so he tells her to call Mr. fucking Goodwrench and have him fix it. The next day when he gets home the sink is fixed, the washing machine is fixed and the car is fixed. He tells her, "Great job honey, you did it!" And she says, "well,... not exactly." He asks her what does she mean by that and she says that this morning when she was trying to get the car started the neighbor boy saw her and asked if he could help. After he fixed the car so quickly she asked him if he knew how to fix washing machines or sinks. He took a look and saw what was needed. She drove him to the parts stores, came back, and he fixed them. "That's GREAT", the husband told her and asked what did they owe him. She said that he told her she could either bake him a cake or give him a blow job. The husband asked what kind of cake did she bake him so she said, "do I look like Betty fucking Crocker?"

Joke: What do you say to the "Dye" when you want it go on?

Joke: The redneck word of the day is: Nascar

Joke: The redneck word of the day is: Cauterize

Joke: If you had sex every single day for a year and used a condom every time and at the end of the year you turn those used condoms into a tire, what would you call the tire?

Joke: The big bad wolf sneaks up behind the horny Little Red Riding Hood and tells her they're going to have sex. She reaches in her picnic basket and pulls out a gun and says, "no, you're not you're going to eat me just like the book says".