Joke: What's the best way to brush your hare?

Joke: Chuck Norris invented the color black. In fact, Chuck invented the visible light color spectrum. Except pink, Tom Cruise invented pink.

Joke: Thomas has tried out for every school play since 2nd grade and he finally gets a part. He rushes home and yells to his father, "I got a part! I got a part!"

His dad asks him, "Oh yeah? Who do you play?"

His son replies, "I play a man who's been married for 30 years with 4 children."

The father says, "Oh, I'm sorry son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

Joke: A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, "What are you doing?!"

He tells her, "If this vacuum doesn't clean this up I'll eat whatever's left."

She smiles and replies, "I'll grab you a fork. I haven't paid the electric bill in months."

Joke: An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a young boy walking by with some chicken wire. He yells to him, "What are you doing boy?"

The boy replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens!"

The man replies, "I don't think it works that way!"

A few hours later the boy walks by again with a ton of chickens strung along the wire.

The next day the boy walks by with a roll of duct tape and the old man yells to him, "What are you doing?"

The boy replies, "I'm gonna get some ducks!"

The old man yells back, "I don't think that's how it works!"

But sure enough he walks by a few hours later with a ton of ducks.

The next day the boy walks by the old man's house with a stick with a fuzzy thing at the end.

The old man yells to him, "What do you have there?!"

The boy yells back, "I've got some pussy willow!"

The old man yells back, "Wait! Let me get my shoes!"

Joke: What's the best part of two antennas getting married?