Joke #1253

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Joke: An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a young boy walking by with some chicken wire. He yells to him, "What are you doing boy?"

The boy replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens!"

The man replies, "I don't think it works that way!"

A few hours later the boy walks by again with a ton of chickens strung along the wire.

The next day the boy walks by with a roll of duct tape and the old man yells to him, "What are you doing?"

The boy replies, "I'm gonna get some ducks!"

The old man yells back, "I don't think that's how it works!"

But sure enough he walks by a few hours later with a ton of ducks.

The next day the boy walks by the old man's house with a stick with a fuzzy thing at the end.

The old man yells to him, "What do you have there?!"

The boy yells back, "I've got some pussy willow!"

The old man yells back, "Wait! Let me get my shoes!"


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Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"


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Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."


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Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"


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Joke: Three guys are hanging out at one of their houses when a terrible storm starts. It's so bad that they can't leave the house all night. So they decide to go to bed, the only problem is that there is only one large bed so they all have to share it.

When they wake up the next morning the guy who slept on the right says, "I had the best dream, a beautiful woman was giving me a handjob."

Next the guy who slept on the left side says, "That's weird, I had a dream where I was getting a handjob from a sexy lady."

The last guy, the one in the middle, frowns and says, "I had a dream I was skiing."


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Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?


Punch line: You get your palm red for free.


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