Joke: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

Joke: John approaches a sales lady at a store and says "I would like to buy my wife some nice gloves."

The sales lady responds "Well that's a nice surprise!"

"Yeah it is," John continues, "She's expecting a diamond ring!"

Joke: Why did the TV show about the airplane never make it past the first episode?

Joke: What did the green grape say to the purple one?

Joke: A pregnant woman wants her child to have very good manners. Every night while she's going to bed she rubs her stomach and says, "Be kind, be kind."

Nine months comes and goes and she doesn't have the baby. She refuses to have doctors look at her because it is against her believes. She dies at the age of 70 and still hasn't given birth. The mystery is solved when doctors inspect her. Inside of her womb they find two little men saying to each other "No brother, after you."

Joke: Why do chicken coops have two doors?