Dirty Jokes

Joke: What does a woman and an airplane have in common?

Joke: What did the two tampons say to each other?

Joke:   Two college kids that have never tried drugs before decide they're going to buy some on a friday night. They get caught with them and spend the weekend in jail. On Monday morning they go before the judge. They have never been in trouble before and did not have a criminal record. The judge looks them both in the eyes and asks, So I suppose you boys are trying to make a career out of doing drugs now? NO, NO we're not! They both cried out. So the judge thinks about it for a second and then says, I'm going to cut you boys a break. Here's what I want you to do. I want you both to come back in 20 days. And in 20 days time between the two of you, I want you to have found 20 of your College friends that you have talked out of doing drugs and into staying in college. Can you do that? Yes, yes your Honor. They both reply. Then one of the boys asks, How are we supposed to do that? Well I've heard of a big circle little circle method the judge answered but you'll have to go online and figure that out yourselves. Come back and see me in 20 days.(the Judge's gavel comes smacking down) When they come back 20 days later the judge asked the first kid, So how did you do?He answers, (cont. in Punch line below)

Joke: Superman was flying over the Earth protecting it when he spots Wonder Woman nude sunbathing on the top of a high-rise building. He instantly gets a huge Superman boner. After 6 hours it still won't go away. He can't go back down to the Earth with it and he's got to do something so he figures if there's any woman on earth that could take that thing it would be Wonder Woman. He flies around the earth six times getting up to supersonic speed and flies down to Wonder Woman, does his thing and is gone in less than a second. Wonder woman asks "What the hell was that?" And the Invisible Man answers, "I don't know but my ass hole sure hurts!"

Joke: A young couple gets married. They have their wedding and reception. When all the guests have gone, they go up to their room to have sex for the first time. Neither of them have ever had sex before so they both sit nervously on the bed. Finally the wife says okay honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my left tit but if you don't squeeze my right. This gives the new husband and idea so he says to her, ok honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my dick but if you don't, pull on it 55 times or more.