Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: A boy goes to school and he brings his cat. When his teacher asks him why he replies "I heard my dad tell my mom that as soon as I left he was going to eat the p**sy."


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70 ratings
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Joke: Why is sex with a hipster so boring?


Punch line: They don't like things that are in.


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24 ratings
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Joke: A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."

A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."

She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"

He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"


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Joke: A pastor is standing before his congregation, "It has come to my attention that somebody has been telling lies about me. Somebody has been saying I am a member of the Ku Klux Klan. This is simply not true! Who has been telling this lie?"

Everybody is silent for a while. He speaks again, "Come on now, face your sins so you can be forgiven!"

Suddenly a drop dead gorgeous blonde rises and says, "I think somebody misunderstood me. I've been telling people that you are a wizard in the sheets."


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Joke: What does a vampire do with boiling water and a tampon?


Punch line: Make tea.


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