Dirty Jokes

Joke: A wealthy business man is trying to find his future wife. He finds three business savvy women and gives them each ten thousand dollars. They can do whatever they want with it, they just have to come back in six weeks to tell him what they did with it.

After six weeks the three women meet the business man. The business man says, 'What did you spend the money on, Number One?'

Number One says, 'I invested in bonds and made $1500.' The business man asks the second woman the same question. She says, 'I invested in stocks and made $1700.'

The business man asks Number Three the same question.

Number Three says, 'I invested in a CD that only made $1200.' After thinking for a long time, the business man finally came to a decision. Can you figure out which one he picked? The one with biggest tits, of course.

Joke: An old married couple was sitting on their porch in rocking chairs.

The old man grabs his wives breasts saying 'if these still made milk we wouldn't need the cows.' The old woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A little later he reaches over and grabs her crotch and says 'if this still laid eggs we wouldn't need chickens.' The woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A few minutes later, the woman grabs the old man's dick and says 'if that worked we wouldn't need your brother.'

Joke: If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee and they move to Michigan, are they still cousins?

Joke: One morning a husband and wife are having sex and the wife says 'the Viagra is great! let me fix us a wholesome breakfast.' The husband says 'No, I'm not hungry after I take Viagra.'

Later that day, the wife says 'Honey, I want to do something nice for you, let me make you a big lunch.' The husband refuses once again, 'The Viagra just takes away all of my hunger.'

A long time after dinner she asks 'Are you hungry yet? I'll make you a steak dinner'. The husband continues to say he isn't hungry, 'The Viagra just kills my appetite.' But the wife firmly says 'I don't care. I'm getting something to eat, so get off of me!'

Joke: Mom was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed.

This mad he very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'