Dirty Jokes

Joke: Mom was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed.

This mad he very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'

Joke: A small man goes to jail. His first day in the showers a very large man approaches him and asks him, "With or without spit?"

The small man knows it will happen no matter what he says or does, replies meekly, "With spit."

The large man shouts to another inmate, "Hey spit! This dude wants a threesome!"

Joke: My friend and I were sitting at the bar and saw some old and sad looking drunks. I laughed and said "That's us in twenty years."

My friend slapped me and said "That's a mirror, dumbass."

Joke: A man went to the doctor because he could no longer get an erection. The doctor told him to bring his wife in. So the next day the man comes in with his wife. First, the doctor tells her, "Take off all of your clothes." So she does.

Next he tells her, "Now turn around... Okay, good. Now lie down." With this he pulls the man aside and tells him, "You are perfectly healthy. I didn't get a boner either."

Joke: A man and his wife were having financial troubles so they decide she should work the streets to make some extra money.

She comes home that night with $31.25. He asks her, "Who the hell gave you a quarter?"

She replies, "All of them."