Dirty Jokes

Joke: Did you hear about the first time BDSM offender?

Joke: A kid comes home from school and tells his dad, "You have to go see my Math teacher."

His father asks why and the kid replies, "Well he asked me what 7 * 4 was and I said '28'. Then he asked what 4 * 7 was and I said, 'What's the fucking difference.'"

His father replies, "Indeed, what is the difference? Okay, I'll go."

The next day the boy comes home and asks, "Did you go to my school yet?"

The father replies, "Nope."

The boy says, "Well you have to see my Gym teacher too. Today I was in class and he told us to stand on our right leg for ten minutes. Then he told us to do the same with our left leg. So I asked him, 'Want me to stand on my cock next?'"

The dad replies, "Exactly, did he? I'll go soon."

The following day the boy comes home from school and says, "Don't bother going to my school. I got expelled."

His dad asks, "Why were you expelled?"

He replies, "Well they called me into the office and waiting for me was the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the science teacher."

"What the fuck was the science teacher there for?" His dad asked.

"That's what I said!"

Joke: A man and his son are walking down the road and see two dogs humping in a lawn. The son asks his dad, "Why are they doing that?"

Thinking quickly, the father replies, "The dog on top hurt his paw so the other one is helping him walk."

The kid replies, "Figures... You try to help somebody and they just screw you."

Joke: A guy receives a text from his girlfriend, "Thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative?"

He replies, "What is ternative?"

Joke: What does KFC and women have in common?