Dirty Jokes

Joke: A retired couple was working in their garden for a few hours one morning. It was getting close to lunch so the husband looked around for his wife. He finally spotted her bent over next to the barbecue. With out even thinking he blurted out, "Damn honey, your arse is almost as wide as the BBQ!" As soon as he said it, he knew he was in deep trouble. During lunch he expected her to say something to him but by the time they crawled into bed that night she still had not said a thing. He figured she had just let it pass, so he asked her if she wanted to have sex. She answered, "What? You expect me to fire up this big ole arse barbecue up for that small weenie? "

Joke: What do you get when you put 50 lesbians in a room with 50 lawyers?

Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."

Joke: What did the pirate do after his parrot bit his dick off?

Joke: What do you think about a sex change?