Dirty Jokes

 

18 ratings
3 saves

Joke: Tom and John are hanging out. Tom asks John, "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you get me my fuckin' slippers?"

John goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Tom's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother told me to have sex with both of you."

One of the sisters replies, "Prove it!"

John yells downstairs, "Tom! Both of them?!."

Tom yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!."


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

11 ratings
3 saves

Joke: One day a teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that every Friday she will ask a question to the class and whoever answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday the teacher asks: "How many grains of sand are on the beach?" needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class: "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated little Johnny decides that the next Friday he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night Johnny takes 2 ping pong balls and paints them black. The next day he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day just when the teacher says, "here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag onto the floor sending the ping pong balls rolling to the front of the room. The entire class starts laughing.

The teacher says, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"

Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

17 ratings
5 saves

Joke: A kid is doing his science homework and he asks his father, "What is the difference between theory and reality?"

The father replies, "Well... Go ask your sister if she would have sex with the neighbor for $1,000,000."

He goes and does it and comes back, "She said she would."

The father says, "Now go ask your mother."

He goes and does it and comes back, "She said she would too."

To this the father says, "See, in theory we are sitting on $2,000,000. But in reality we just live with a couple of whores."


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

24 ratings
0 saves

Joke: What does a vampire do with boiling water and a tampon?


Punch line: Make tea.


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

15 ratings
1 saves

Joke: (The maid has just asked for a raise)
Mrs. Smith: "Why do you think you deserve a raise?"
Maid: "I have three reasons. The first is that I cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith: "Who told you that?"
Maid: "Your husband did. The second reason is that I clean better than you do."
Mrs. Smith: "Who told you that?"
Maid: "Your husband did. The final reason is that I am better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith: "I suppose my husband said that too?!"
Maid: "No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith: "How much do you want?"


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+