Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man and his son are walking down the road and see two dogs humping in a lawn. The son asks his dad, "Why are they doing that?"

Thinking quickly, the father replies, "The dog on top hurt his paw so the other one is helping him walk."

The kid replies, "Figures... You try to help somebody and they just screw you."

Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."

Joke: When you read a book about how bad smoking is for you, you quit smoking.

When you read a book about how bad drinking is for you, you quit drinking.

When you read a book about how bad sex is for you, you quit reading.

Joke: How do you get kicked out of an animal rights group?

Joke: How is a man's dick like God?