Clean Jokes

Joke: A grandmother gives her grandson directions, "Once you get to the building open the door with your elbows. Once you get to the elevator his the up button with your elbow. I'm on the third floor so you're going to have to his the number 3 on the elevator with your elbow. Then once you get off I'm the first to the left, just hit the doorbell with your elbow."

The grandson replies, "That sounds easy enough, but why with my elbows?"

The grandmother says, "Oh... So you're going to be open handed?"

Joke: A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?"

The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone."

The doctor says, "That explains one ear."

She replies, "Well they called again!"

Joke: A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He immediately yanks the dog and starts to spin him in the air like a lasso.

The bartender freaks out, "What are you doing?!?!"

The blind man replies calmly, "Oh, just having a look around."

Joke: What do you call a pretty girl on the arm of a drummer?

Joke: Why has nobody heard of the new band 1023 megabits?