Clean Jokes

Joke: Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
The polite interrupting cow.
The polite inter...
Excuse me! I'm sorry to interrupt, but moo!

Joke: What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

Joke: A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."

The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!"

The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem."

Joke: A man dies and goes to Heaven. Immediately God explains to him the basics of Heaven, "In Heaven a penny is worth a million dollars and a minute lasts a million years."

The guy says, "Sweet, can I have a penny?"

God replies, "In a minute!"