Clean Jokes

Joke: A woman goes to her lawyer and tells him, "I want to divorce my husband."

The lawyer says, "Do you have any grounds?"

She replies, "Yes, we have a few acres. But there's nothing valuable on it."

He says, "That's not what I meant, do you have a grudge?"

She replies, "Yes, that's where I park my car."

The lawyer becomes angry at this point, "Why do you want a divorce?!"

She replies, "We have trouble communicating."

Joke: What does a vampire that drinks his own blood say?

Joke: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?

Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."

Joke: Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"