Clean Jokes

 

12 ratings
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Joke: A woman goes to her lawyer and tells him, "I want to divorce my husband."

The lawyer says, "Do you have any grounds?"

She replies, "Yes, we have a few acres. But there's nothing valuable on it."

He says, "That's not what I meant, do you have a grudge?"

She replies, "Yes, that's where I park my car."

The lawyer becomes angry at this point, "Why do you want a divorce?!"

She replies, "We have trouble communicating."


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Joke: What does a vampire that drinks his own blood say?


Punch line: It tastes irony!


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Joke: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?


Punch line: To draw blood.


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8 ratings
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Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."


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Joke: A man with no arms went to a guitar shop. He grabs a guitar and asks the owner of the establishment, "How much for this one?"

The owner replies, "$300. If you don't mind me asking, how are you going to use it?"

The man replies, "I'll just play it by ear..."


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