Clean Jokes

 

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Joke: A doctor is extremely unlucky one week and loses three patients. Angry, the doctor decides to call death, but to her surprise, is put on hold. After a lengthy wait death answers the phone, "Thank you for your patients!"


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Joke: An old couple is sitting on their couch and the woman asks her husband "If I die will you get married again."

The husband replies "Well I don't want to be lonely... So yes."

His wife shoots him a dirty look and says "Will you live in our house?"

The husband replies "Well it's already paid off... So yes."

His wife is extremely mad at this point. She asks him "Will she use my golf clubs?!"

The husband replies "Oh no... She's left handed."


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Joke: Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little girl who swallowed ten quarters last night doing?"
Nurse: "No change yet."


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Joke: Why do bankers eat alone?


Punch line: They're loaners.


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Joke: How is a wife like a hand grenade?


Punch line: Remove the ring, and your house is gone.


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