Clean Jokes

Joke: There was a boy named Johnny who would hang around the corner store. The other boys would pick on him, saying that he is stupid. To prove it, they would offer him a nickle or a dime. He would always pick the nickel and they would make fun of him, saying he picked it because it was bigger.

One day the store clerk asked Johnny, "Why do you always pick the nickel? That's why they make fun of you. Do you choose it because it's bigger?"

Johnny replied, "Well if I stopped picking the nickel they would stop, and I've saved up $20!"

Joke: Thomas has tried out for every school play since 2nd grade and he finally gets a part. He rushes home and yells to his father, "I got a part! I got a part!"

His dad asks him, "Oh yeah? Who do you play?"

His son replies, "I play a man who's been married for 30 years with 4 children."

The father says, "Oh, I'm sorry son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rufus!
Rufus who?
The roof! The roof! The Rufus on fire!

Joke: A police officer was interviewing a bank teller after they had been robbed 3 days in a row. The officer asked "What did he look like?"

The teller responded "He looked better every time he came here."

Joke: A vulture is boarding a plane carrying a couple of dead raccoon. But before he is able to get on the attendant tells him, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."