Clean Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman is pulled over on a by a police officer for swerving. He asks her, "Mam, why were you swerving all over the road?"

She looks relieved, "Sir! I'm glad you're here. I looked away for a second then there was a tree right in front of me. Then I swerved left and another tree was right there. Then right, then left."

The police officer bends over and looks into her car and reaches for the rear-view mirror, "Mam, this is your air freshener."

Joke: The Washington Redskins are going to change their name because of the historic shame and moral shortcomings associated with the name.

From now on, they will be referred to as simply The Redskins.

Joke: A man named Tom meets a man named Clark at a party on the 30th floor of a building. They get to talking and Clark tells Tom that the wind is just right so that if you jump out the window you will circle the building and fly right back in. Tom naturally doesn't believe him. Clark proves it by jumping out the window a few times and coming right back in. Finally Tom believes him and he jumps out of the window breaking every bone in his body.

Clark's girlfriend Lois turns to him and says "You can be a real jerk when you're drunk superman."

Joke: A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."

All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."

All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.

After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"

The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."

Joke: A blonde was taking helicopter lessons and she was finally ready to try it on her own. The instructor told her to radio him every 1000 feet to make sure everything was okay.

At 1000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine."

At 2000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine, just getting a little cold."

But before she reached 3000 feet the helicopter began to slowly come down. It crashed into the ground ruining the helicopter, but the blonde was fine. The instructor ran to her side to comfort her, "What happened?"

She replied, "I told you it was getting cold. So I shut off the giant fan."