Clean Jokes

Joke: A first grade teacher tells her class that she is American and asks them to raise their hands if they are American.

All of their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks, except one girl named Kristen. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American," the girl responds.

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little annoyed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason. What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Well," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

Joke: A truck driver stops at a restaurant to get some food and rest. A gang of bikers approach him while he's eating and start to mess with him. They call him names and throw food at him but he doesn't do anything about it. When he's finished he pays his bill and leaves.

After he leaves one of the bikers says, "Well he isn't much of a man is he?"

The waitress says, "He isn't much of a truck driver either. He just ran over 20 motorcycles on his way out."

Joke: A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says "Aw, honey. You said you didn't want to have kids."

He responds "I know. Let's see them get in now."

Joke: A blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet and tells the vet "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

The vet looks into the bowl, "Looks fine to me."

The girl snaps back at him, "Hold on! Let me get him out of his bowl first!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jenny!
Jenny who?
Jenny'd to open the door right now!