Blonde Jokes

Joke: A blonde girl is standing next to her school's flagpole. The janitor comes up to her and asks her what she's doing. She replies "I have to find the height of the flagpole for math class."

With this the janitor unscrews the flagpole and lays it down on the ground. He measures it with a measuring tape and tells her "Twenty-five feet, five inches."

She thanks him but as he is walking away she says "What a dummy. I wanted the height, not the width."

Joke: A man goes to a coffee shop and asks the blonde waitress, "Can I have a coffee with sugar, no cream?"

The waitress replies, "Oh, I'm so sorry sir. We don't have cream. Could I get it to you with no milk instead?"

Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."

Joke: A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. After the game he asks her, "So what'd you think?"

She replies, "I like the tights and the muscles, but all of that commotion over 25 cents?"

He asks her what she means. She replies, "At the beginning they toss a quarter and one team gets it. Then they spend the rest of the game yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."