Funny Riddles

Question: You bury me when I'm alive,
and dig me up only when I die.

What am I?

Question: How do you share 34 apples among 33 people?

Question: Two is company and 3 is a crowd. What is 4 and 5?

Question: A boy at a carnival went to a booth ran by a man who said "If I can write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agreed, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50.

How did the man win the bet?

Question: Two men went into a restaurant. They sat at a table and the waiter came by and asked, "What do you want to drink?"

The first man said, "I'll have H₂0."

The second man said, "I'll have H₂0 too."

The second man died.

Why?