Philosopher rocks :)

Joke: A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!”

Joke: What did zero say to eight?

Joke: If King Tut had a watchmaker, and that watchmaker had a favorite 80's movie, what would it be?

Joke: How do hair stylists speed up their job?

Joke: What do you give a lemon in distress?

Joke: What kind of music do planets sing?