Short Jokes

Joke: All the letters: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, and z were having a meeting when they realized a letter was missing. X says, "Is somebody missing?"

D replies, "Must be an absentee."

Joke: A lady is on a flight from India to the United States. She stands up and yells, "Is there a doctor on board?!"

A man stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what's the problem?"

She replies, "Want to meet my daughter?"

Joke: John approaches a sales lady at a store and says "I would like to buy my wife some nice gloves."

The sales lady responds "Well that's a nice surprise!"

"Yeah it is," John continues, "She's expecting a diamond ring!"

Joke: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders 1/2 a beer, the third orders 1/3 a beer, the fourth orders 1/4 a beer. The bartender interrupts "Get out! Are you trying to suck me dry?"

Joke: A teacher is announcing her classes next speaker for career day, who happens to be a butcher. She says "He has chicken wings, pigs cheeks, and chicken breast."

One of the students blurts out "He must be really funny looking."