Long Jokes

Joke: A man is stunned when his hot, newly divorced neighbor knocks at his door. He answers eagerly and she asks him, "Are you free tonight?"

He blurts out, "Yes!"

She asks, "Great! Would you watch my kids?"

Joke: A doctor is extremely unlucky one week and loses three patients. Angry, the doctor decides to call death, but to her surprise, is put on hold. After a lengthy wait death answers the phone, "Thank you for your patients!"

Joke: Chemist 1: Did you know they discovered a new element?
Chemist 2: No, what's it called?
Chemist 1: It's symbol is Ah.
Chemist 2: Oh... The element of surprise.

Joke: A thief walks up to a man, pulls out a knife, and says "Give me all of your money."

The man, surprised, says "You can't rob me, I'm a congressman!"

The thief responds "In that case, give me my money!"

Joke: I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.