Long Jokes

Joke: A boy is looking up at the sky and sees something, but he doesn't know what it is. He asks his mother but she can't tell so she points him to his brother. But again his brother has no idea, so he points him to his father. Finally the boy asks his father, but his father has no idea either. So his father points him back to his mother.

At this point the boy knows what it is, because it takes 3 points to define a plane.

Joke: A pharmacist goes out for lunch and when he comes back he finds a man sitting on the floor twitching. He asks his assistant, "What exactly is going on?"

His assistant replies, "This man came in looking for cough syrup."

The pharmacist replies, "Well, what'd you give him?"

The assistant replies, "Laxatives." The pharmacist asks why so and the assistant replies, "He doesn't want to cough anymore..."

Joke: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Joke: An old man lies on his deathbed as he holds his wife's hand, "Dear, these are my last moments. Please be honest with me. Our 5th boy, Donald, looks very different from all of the others. He has a different dad from the others, doesn't he."

Weeping, his wife cries out, "Yes! I'm sorry sorry!"

The man replies, "Who? Who is the father?"

The wife looks back at him deeply and says, "It's you..."

Joke: A blonde walks into a store and shows a clerk she would like a particular TV. He tells her, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Enraged she goes home, dyes her hair, and returns the next day. She approaches another salesman and shows him the TV. He tells her, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Angry, she says, "How did you know I was blonde?"

He replies, "That's not a TV, it's a microwave."