Good Jokes

Joke: Why is a lost dalmatian easily found?

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, the police gave her a ticket for not having tinted windows.

Joke: Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Joke: It's Paige's birthday and she has been waiting for her gift from her boyfriend Trevor for months. All he told her was "I got you something that will change your life. It can go from 0 to 200 in a few seconds!"

When it finally comes time for Paige to open her gifts she notices Trevor only had a small gift box in front of him. She eagerly opens it wondering if it is something for her shiny new sports car. She looks at it and says "This can't go from 0 to 200 in a few seconds?"

Trevor replies "It's a scale, just step on it."

Joke: Little Tommy asks his mom if he can have some animal crackers. His mom gives him a box of crackers and tells him he can have a few. His mom leaves and comes back in a few minutes finding all of the crackers on the floor with Tommy looking through them. His mother asks "What are you doing Tommy?"

Tommy replies "It said don't eat if the seal was already broken. But I can't find a seal!"