Good Jokes

Joke: The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."

But instead John came in fifth and got a toaster.

Joke: Bringing a gun to a knife fight is like bringing Chuck Norris to an atomic bomb fight.

Joke: An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German are walking down the road and see a street performer juggling. The performer notices they are all squinting as they look at him so he asks, "Can you guys see me okay?"

They reply, "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja!"

Joke: Tell me the symbol for Nobelium!
No.
Why?
Yttrium.
Oh!
Oxygen!

Joke: Chuck Norris almost had a heart attack once, but his heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.