Good Jokes

Joke: A panda walks into a bar and after thinking it over, the bartender lets him stay. The panda eats his dinner and asks for a check. He looks at the check, nods his head, and shoots the waiter in the knee. The bartender runs over and looks at the table. The panda had left an open dictionary of the table, turned to the page with 'panda' on it. He reads the description "Panda; n. Large mammal from central Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
I can say who!
I can say who who?
Do you always have to one up me?

Joke: Why is the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?

Joke: Student: Would you ever punish someone for something they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Okay good, because my homework isn't done yet.

Joke: Yo mama's so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!