Good Jokes

Joke: Once a woman met a man at a party whom she hated and he hated in return. After a long bout of angry stares and squabbles she turns to him and says 'Sir, if you were my husband I would give you poison.' The man responds by saying 'Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.'

Joke: Why do we not tell secrets in the corn patch?

Joke: A blonde, brunette and a red head are stuck on an island; but they see land in the distance and decide to swim to it.

The brunette swims 1/4 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The red head swims 1/3 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The blonde swims 1/2 of the way but decides she can't continue and swims back to the island.

Joke: A man goes to the supply store and buys 300 chicks. He tells the owner, "I'm going to start a chicken farm!"

A couple of weeks later he returns and buys 300 more. The owner thinks it's weird but doesn't ask any questions.

Another couple of weeks later he returns to make the same purchase. At this point the owner is baffled and asks, "Why do you come back every couple of weeks and make the same purchase?"

The would-be farmer replies, "Well, I must be doin' somethin' wrong. I'm either planting them too deep or too close together."

Joke: Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"