Good Jokes

Joke: Yo mama's so fat, she wore a yellow raincoat and somebody yelled, "Taxi!"

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are waiting in front of the pearly gates when God comes out to greet them "Usually I wouldn't let any of you girls in, but I'm having a good day. I'll give you all a deal. If you can climb my 1000 stair staircase and listen to a joke at each step without laughing I'll let you in." They all agree.

The brunette loses at the 100th step. The red head loses at the 500th step. The blonde makes it to the 999th step and begins to laugh historically. God asks her "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

She replies "I just got the first one."

Joke: A blonde girl is at a ventriloquist act. The ventriloquist starts to tell a bunch of blonde jokes and everybody in the room is laughing hysterically.

The blonde girl stands up and yells "Hey jerk! Not all blondes are dumb. You need to stop with the cheap jokes!"

The ventriloquist says "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

The blonde interrupts him "Stay out of it! I was talking to the little man on your leg."

Joke: A woman is pulled over and the officer asks her for her license. He looks at it and says "Ma'm, your license says you should be wearing glasses?"

The woman replies "I have contacts sir."

The officer gets mad and yells "I don't care who you know, you're getting a ticket!"

Joke: There is a blonde, brunette, and a red head running away from a bad guy and they decide to hide in a barn. They all quickly find hiding spots. The red head hides behind a cow, the brunette hides behind a horse, and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes.

The bad guy comes in and when he passes the cow the red head says "Moo!". When he passes the horse the brunette says "Nay!" Finally he comes to the potatoes and the blonde says "PO-TA-TOE!"