22 ratings
1 saves
Joke: A panda walks into a bar and after thinking it over, the bartender lets him stay. The panda eats his dinner and asks for a check. He looks at the check, nods his head, and shoots the waiter in the knee. The bartender runs over and looks at the table. The panda had left an open dictionary of the table, turned to the page with 'panda' on it. He reads the description "Panda; n. Large mammal from central Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."
23 ratings
5 saves
Joke: The Pope arrives in New York and gets in his Limo. While driving the Pope asks his driver, "May I drive?"
The driver can't refuse since he's the Pope and all, so the pope hops into the driver seat and the driver into the back.
It's been a very long time since the pop has driven himself so he is a terrible driver. He swerves in and out of traffic and eventually gets pulled over. The police officer that pulled him over approaches the driver but immediately goes back to his cruiser. He tells his partner, "There is an extremely important person in the limo."
His partner asks, "Is it the mayor?"
The cop replies, "Bigger!"
His partner asks, "Is it the governor?"
Again the cop says, "Bigger!"
His partner replies, "It couldn't be the president?!"
The cop says, "I don't know. But whoever it is has the frickin' Pope driving him around!"
13 ratings
3 saves
By gt1360
Joke: A man's children were curious about their names. The man's daughter asked him, "Dad, how did i get my name?" The father replied, "Well, you were laying down under a tree and a rose fell on your head, so i named you rose."
The second daughter asked, "Dad, how did i get MY name?" The father replied. "Well, you were laying down under a tree and a lily fell on your head, so i named you Lily."
Then his son came in the room and yelled, "RAAAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRR!!!"
The father replied, "Shut up, Brick!"
21 ratings
5 saves
Joke: Why can't you trust atoms?
23 ratings
4 saves
Joke: A blonde walks into a bar yelling, "65 days!"
A guy asks her, "What's in 65 days?"
The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"
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