Good Jokes

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Euripides!
Euripides who?
Euripides pants and I'm gonna be mad!

Joke: One day, a mathematician decides he wants to be a firefighter. So he quits his job and applies to be a firefighter. But the chief doesn't think he is qualified so he gives him a test. He takes him to the alley and sets a dumpster on fire. He asks the mathematician, "What do you do?" The mathematician immediately grabs a hose and puts out the fire.

The chief then asks him, "Now that the fire is out, what do you do?"

Stumped, the mathematician thinks for a minute and says "I can reduce this problem into a problem with known solutions." With this he pulls out a match and sets the dumpster on fire.

Joke: Yo mama's so dumb, she returned doughnuts because they had holes in them.

Joke: A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Joke: Two men, Tom and Joe, have loved baseball more than anything their entire lives. One day Tom says to Joe, "If you die before me, promise me you'll come back and tell me if there is baseball in Heaven."

Joe agrees and makes Tom promise the same thing. About a week later Tom dies.

One night Joe wakes up to somebody calling his name. Scared, he asks, "Who's there?"

Suddenly Tom appears and says, "Hi Joe. I'm coming here from Heaven. I've got some good news and some bad news. I'll give you the good news first, there is baseball in heaven!"

Joe gets very excited, but then he asks, "What's the bad news?"

Tom looks at him grimly and says, "I looked at the lineup and you're pitching tomorrow."