Good Jokes

Joke: Why do melons have large weddings?

Joke: Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Three bananas and orange!
Three bananas and orange who?
Three bananas and orange you glad we all knocked together.

Joke: Yo mama so fat that she is sacred in India.

Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."

Joke: Four boys were late for school. So the teacher ask them. Teacher: " Ryan, why were you late?" Ryan: " Because, my clock was 15 minutes late." Teacher: " Josh, why were you late?" Josh: " Because, tires got flat." Teacher: " Zack, why were you late?" Zack: " Because, I ate a lot of food this morning, so I walk slowly to school." After Zack finished, Oliver started to cry. The teacher asked " Why are you crying Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Oliver replies " They all said the excuses I am going to say." Teacher: "WHAT!"