Good Jokes

 

440 ratings
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Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No! You're a poo!


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22 ratings
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Joke: A panda walks into a bar and after thinking it over, the bartender lets him stay. The panda eats his dinner and asks for a check. He looks at the check, nods his head, and shoots the waiter in the knee. The bartender runs over and looks at the table. The panda had left an open dictionary of the table, turned to the page with 'panda' on it. He reads the description "Panda; n. Large mammal from central Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."


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Joke: A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."

The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!"

The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem."


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2 ratings
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Joke: Why is water jealous of citric acid?


Punch line: Citric acid is a lot buffer.


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Joke: Why does the United States need 53 states?


Punch line: So it can be indivisible (53 is prime).


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