Funny Jokes

Joke: Why did the pop can crusher retire?

Joke: A guy from Mississippi goes to Connecticut and sees some girls. He asks them, "What college do y'all go to?"

One of them responds daintily, "Yale."

He replies, "WHAT COLLEGE DO Y'ALL GO TO?"

Joke: Why did the man take Viagra every night?

Joke: Which bird is tall and wealthy?

Joke: A pirate walks into a bar with an eyepatch, pegleg, and hook for a hand. The bartender notices his leg, "How did you get that pegleg?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a shark aboard. The shark bit my leg off!"

"Wow," replies the bartender. "What about that hand?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a killer whale aboard. The whale bit my leg off!"

"Oh," replies the bartender. "How about the eye?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a seagull came outta nowhere and pooped in my eye."

"And that blinded you?" asked the bartender.

"No, it twas my first day with the hook."