Funny Jokes

Joke: What did the tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into eachother?

Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor after hurting herself. The doctor tells her, "You're going to have to take it easy at work for a couple of weeks." He then gives her a note for her employer.

When the blonde brings the note to her employer he tells her, "Okay, I guess you're going to have to have light duty for the next few weeks."

The blonde replies, "Oh no! I don't know how to change lights."

Joke: What happened to the boy who tried to grab fog?

Joke: A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the eyes and says "Will you marry me?"

She looks back at him with a smile and twinkle in her eye and replies "Come again?"

Joke: A man and his wife are in front of a judge deciding who gets them. The wife tells the judge, "I'm their mother. I birthed them and I should get to raise them."

The judge then turns to the father and asks for his reasoning. The man thinks for a while and retorts, "If I put a $1.50 into a pop machine and a coke comes out, the does the machine get the coke?"