Funny Jokes

Joke: What does a vampire that drinks his own blood say?

Joke: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?

Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."

Joke: How is the Pope like a Christmas tree?

Joke: A man with no arms went to a guitar shop. He grabs a guitar and asks the owner of the establishment, "How much for this one?"

The owner replies, "$300. If you don't mind me asking, how are you going to use it?"

The man replies, "I'll just play it by ear..."